Session 1

The Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Life

Five Step System

Session One

Module 1 – Resolving The Basic Conflict







Welcome everyone…thank you so much for joining me in this pilot program…the first Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Life Five Step System group program. I am really excited about the transformational journey we’ll be taking together.

This program is about change.

What we need to recognize first…is that every time we want something…a specific kind of good…there is a part of us that doesn’t want it. There is a conflict at the bottom of all of our efforts. People want, on the one hand, a particular kind of change in their lives…whether it’s physical health, more money or a variety of other things…and there is also  a part of them that doesn’t want it, on the other hand.

If we ignore that, or fight with that, we find an enemy within…and then we create something really different for ourselves, something that we don’t want, and we actually start spiraling down.

One of the ways that we can begin to be open to change is to love and respect all parts of ourselves, including the part that wants to heal, and the part that doesn’t want to heal.

People want change, but when it comes right down to it, why don’t they have it? What stops them from having it?

The first thing that stops them is they don’t take the time to notice what they want.

Have you ever noticed that it’s much easier to know what you don’t want than what you do want?

People don’t often stop to think about what they want. They don’t come home to their bodies and ask themselves “Do I want to continue to have the experience that I’m having?”

They don’t ask the question. So, the first thing that stops them is that they are not curious. Once they become curious and say “I don’t want to continue having what I’m having. I want something new”…What could stop them from having something new…That next level, whatever it might be?

Part of what stops them is that they are struggling with the part of them that is saying “no” to the very thing they want.

Fear is at the bottom of it. according to a course in miracles, there are only two emotions – fear and love.

There is a solution to this paradox, this duality. There is fear on the one hand and love on the other. What do we do about them? If we keep addressing them as opposites, as they are fighting and clashing with one another, there’s nowhere to go.

But if we go beyond and transcend them, we start to notice the positive function of each of them. When a person has a physical illness and they want to resolve it…on the one hand they want to overcome the illness, and on the other hand, there’s a part that doesn’t.

What we need to do is resolve the upset that we have with the part of us that doesn’t want what we want, and find its gift. At the center of real change, of really being open to change, is recognizing that there is no such thing as an inner enemy and that every part of us is actively in love with us.

By taking this attitude, we then address the part of ourselves that says no, with a loving embrace, allowing us to find its positive function. That’s the way we resolve our conflicts and actually move forward.

This is contrary to most teachings and many cultural, religious and psychological views. There is commonly an effort to find the inner enemy, that which is wrong with us, the brokenness, the “badness”.

There is a continual fight and fear within one’s self… the thought that if I look inside, I’m going to find that I am self-sabotaging, and that I am a bad person…that there is something bad inside of me.

What I’ve discovered in learning and practicing the techniques in this program is that nothing could be further from the truth. As a matter of fact, this is one of the dominant beliefs that has harmed the entire population of people who are interested in personal growth.

If we just take a few minutes to examine it, we’ll learn that there can’t be an enemy within us. Every single part of us is in love with us. It may be going about its method of loving you in a way that turns out to be harmful, but its intent is to give us something very good.

For example, an unconscious part of you could create an illness to get you to rest, because you have been pushing yourself too hard. Once you understand that this part of you is not trying to destroy you, but instead take care of you, then it’s a matter of negotiating with that part, so that it can protect you, without giving you the illness.

The unconscious mind is running the show, so it is a good idea to develop a good relationship with it!  All of our beliefs about ourselves and the world are fully developed by the age of 6 or 7, and all of our decisions and actions throughout our lives are based on those beliefs. If we can learn to communicate with the part that’s running the show, we can resolve our conflicts.

It is possible to find the positive function of any illness, whether it is physical, emotional, mental or spiritual…or any issue in your life…and thereby clearly understand that every part of you is actively in love with you.

That attitude, in itself, is healing for many people.

The realization that every part of them is in love with them sometimes brings people to tears, because they’ve been told all of their lives by school teachers, religious teachers and sometimes parents, that there’s something bad or evil about them. Some religions teach that we are born of sin, that we are no good from the moment we are born.

By taking the attitude that there is no inner enemy, and every part of you is in love with you, you can make astonishing changes.

We need to be open to change, and we also need to know how to make the change.

In order to make the change, we have to recognize our value and our worth, and then we need the methods for actual change, which is what this program is about.

Moving forward to change requires coming home to the body as a first step. we need to slow down, so that we can bring our emotional body back in to our physical body. The emotional body is located above the head; we usually unconsciously place it outside of the body because it is very uncomfortable to deal with painful emotions.


The Healing Conflict Resolution Process


The processes we do in this session are designed to resolve the internal conflicts that are holding us back from change. The healing conflict resolution process addresses the part of you that wants to heal and the part that does not. The second conflict integration process  is more generic. You can choose the conflict you want to resolve, and go back to this process again and again for other internal conflicts that come up in your life in the future.

So now, I’d like you to get into a comfortable position with your feet flat on the floor. Turn off your cell phone or anything else that might distract you, sit with your hands free on your lap. Just relax, listen to my voice, and follow my instructions.

** At the 7 minute, 8 second mark ( 7:08):

The Healing Conflict Resolution Process**


Come back into the room whenever you are ready. I am going to pause for a few moments to allow you to write down the messages, images and insights you received during this process.

Many people experience great results from going through this process once, although it is recommended that you listen to it seven times. You may want to listen to it once a day for the next six days until we meet again.


The Conflict Resolution Process


Our next process is a generic conflict integration process. Choose another issue in your life in which you are experiencing a conflict. It may that you are trying to decide between two different healing protocols…or you are deciding whether to stay in a relationship or leave it…or you may feel conflicted about taking a certain trip or making a certain decision.

Once again sit comfortably with your feet flat on the floor and your hands free on your lap.

**At the 48 minute mark (48:00):

The Conflict Resolution Process**


Take a few moments to write down any insights you would like to remember.

This concludes Session One of THE HEAL YOUR EMOTIONS, HEAL YOUR LIFE FIVE STEP SYSTEM. Email any questions, insights or comments you have during the next week to, and I’ll respond within 24 hours and possibly share your comments with the group in our next session, if I think it will benefit everyone in this program.


We will begin the belief change therapy sessions next week.

Think of some beliefs you want to change….The beliefs will sometimes start with the word ”I“ in  sentences  such as “I’m not worthy” or “I am a failure.” Sometimes the belief will be something like “It’s hopeless.” There are also times when you will hear someone else’s voice in your head telling you things like …”You’re no good” or “You’re hopeless.” Bring two beliefs that you want to change to our session next Thursday at 3pm PT and we will permanently change them. It is going to be really exciting, so I can’t wait to join you then.


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