Session 6

The Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Life

Five Step System

Session Six

Module 5 – Forgiveness and Self-Love (Part 1)




Welcome to Session Six of The Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Life Five Step System. We are now in Module 5- Forgiveness and Self Love – this is part one of two in this module.

The Power of Forgiveness

One of the heaviest emotional burdens we carry is a lack of forgiveness – for others and especially, for ourselves.

We can’t have complete health, or peace without forgiveness.

The act of forgiving others and ourselves dissolves the negative attitudes and memories that are lodged in the conscious and subconscious levels of your mind.

The word forgiveness means cleansing, a blotting out of transgression. If you have an illness, you need to forgive. I believe that If you are experiencing pain, unpleasant circumstances or misery of any sort, you need to forgive.

When we hold onto a resentment, grievance, shame, guilt, or pain from the past, our mind, body and spirit suffer. Our body produces excessive amounts of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, which can compromise our immune system, and potentially contribute to a whole host of diseases.

Hostility is known to be an inflammatory emotion. Researchers have confirmed that it is the number one emotional risk factor for premature death from heart attacks and strokes. Hostility is also linked to autoimmune disorders and other illnesses, including cancer.

As we’ve known in the western world for more than three decades, and in ancient cultures for centuries, the body and mind are inextricably connected.

Letting Go of Resentments

Research shows people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. Forgiveness, and even the thought of forgiving an offender, have been proven to improve cardiovascular and nervous system function. A University of Wisconsin study found that the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from illnesses. Those who forgave less reported a greater number of health problems.

When we let go of the emotional toxicity, our body immediately begins to return to homeostasis, a state of self-healing and self-regulation. On an emotional level, the benefits of forgiving are beyond compare, because we can achieve peace. Most of the people in need of emotional healing with whom I have spoken to over the past few years ultimately want one thing…peace. It is impossible to have peace without forgiveness.

Forgiveness and Inner Peace

In forgiving, we free ourselves from toxic attachments to the past, which has a healing effect on our mind and body, and we increase our compassion for others and for ourselves. Ultimately, the gift of forgiving our self and others is inner peace.

Forgiveness is the ultimate spiritual practice.

In the Dynamic Laws of Healing, spiritual teacher Catherine Ponder explains the power of forgiveness this way:

” You can invoke the Surprise Law Of healing. It is an immutable and spiritual law, that when there is a health problem, there is a forgiveness problem. You must forgive if you want to be permanently healed. When you bypass forgiveness, you bypass permanent health. The surprise is in how many people try to find their way back to health without first cleansing their emotions of the causes of disease. Health cannot be accepted by the body that is filled with the poisons generated by unforgiveness. Ancient philosphers had a basic statement they used for healing, ” There is nothing to hate.”

Many people refuse to forgive because they believe that forgiveness, in some way, condones
inappropriate behavior. We can forgive even if we refuse to tolerate someone’s behavior and no longer want that person to be part of our life.

Nelson Mandela, who was imprisoned by the South African government for 27 years, forgave his captors.  He spoke these inspiring words when he was released:

“As I walked out the door toward my freedom, I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be in prison.”

Mark Twain has been quoted as saying, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

Freeing Yourself Through Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, which we can benefit from even if the person who committed the act is consciously unaware of our forgiveness, or has passed away.

When you harbor resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or situation by a strong emotional link. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and free yourself.

In most instances you won’t need to make outer contact with the person or persons you are forgiving, If such a situation does arise, it can be part of the healing process. As you change your attitude towards others, they will unconsciously respond by changing their attitudes toward you. That has been proven to me many times in my work with clients. One example is when I worked with a client who had had a falling out with her sister four years prior.

When she came to me, I told her that in order to have peace, she would have to forgive her sister. She did not want to hear that, and she said she didn’t even think it would be possible, but since she knew her health was being affected by all of the stress around this issue, she was willing to try anything.

We did The Forgiveness Process (the second one we will do today) and she forgave her sister. She was really shocked and amazed by how peaceful she felt. She had no ill will toward her sister at all. She couldn’t believe it. She had been obsessing over how angry she was at her sister with anyone who would listen for four years. And now she was at peace. She experienced what the Scriptures call ” The peace that passes all understanding.”

We discussed whether she would reach out to her sister, but she decided not to, since her sister had rejected her previous attempt. She decided that being at peace, the way she was now feeling, was all she needed.

Her birthday was approaching, so she decided to pray that her sister would send her a birthday card. She did…and they reconciled shortly after that.

This is an example of one of the many times that what I said earlier was confirmed to me:  “As you change your attitude towards others, they will unconsciously respond by changing their attitudes toward you.”

Even knowing the value of forgiveness, many people doubt whether they will ever be able to forgive and fully let go. Many people tell me that they don’t know how to forgive or that they think they’ve forgiven, but they are not sure.

I used to wonder about this myself; I questioned how anyone could know if they have truly forgiven.

What I learned is that forgiveness is a basic conflict which has to be resolved. There is one part of us that knows we need to forgive and wants to forgive, and there is another part of us that doesn’t want to forgive at all.

By resolving the conflict, we bring together these two parts to create something completely new. We evolve to a new level of consciousness, and a new level of forgiveness that we didn’t know was possible… the peace that passes all understanding.

We can do this for both self-forgiveness and forgiveness of others, and you will experience two processes today to achieve both of these goals.

The Self-Forgiveness Process

In the first process, The Self-Forgiveness Process, you will forgive yourself of all the things you have blamed yourself for all of your life.

Many people suffering from illness blame themselves and say ” What did I do to attract this?” That only increases the stress. Everyone does the best they can with the information they have at the time. I once interviewed a doctor who referred to illness as ” A gift in strange wrapping paper.” It’s an opportunity to learn and grow and make the changes in mind, body and spirit that are necessary for our evolution.

Now, please get seated comfortably, ideally with your feet flat on the floor. Be sure to have your hands free, resting comfortably on your lap. Close your eyes, and let’s begin The Self-Forgiveness process.

** At the 8 minute, 32 second mark ( 8:32):

The Self-Forgiveness Process**

I’ll give you a few moments to take notes on any insights that came to you during that process.

The Forgiveness Process

Next, you will experience The Forgiveness Process. This process also resolves a conflict, and is very similar to the Self-Forgiveness process we just completed.

If you know there is someone or something you need to forgive, please think about that as we begin the process.

You may not consciously be aware of what or whom you need to forgive from your past or present. It doesn’t matter. You will experience a deep, general forgiveness of all the transgressions and painful events in your life, whether you are conscious of them or not.

Now, please close your eyes and take a few deep breaths as we begin The Forgiveness Process.

** At the 42 minute, 9 second mark (42:09):

The Forgiveness Process**

Let this is experience of peace you have with you now continue throughout the rest of the day and night…and through the week and months and years to come.

Use these processes whenever you feel you need to forgive yourself or others, and experience the deep peace you experienced during this session.


Next week, in part two of Module Five – Forgiveness and Self Love – you will experience a deep Self-Love Process that will enable you to truly provide yourself with the self-care that is necessary for lasting health.

I look forward to joining you then.

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