Session 7

The Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Life

Five Step System

Session Seven

Module 5 – Forgiveness and Self-Love (Part 2)




Welcome to Session Seven of The Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Life Five Step System. We are now in Module 5- Forgiveness and Self Love Part 2.


Self-love is the basis of all love. Without loving ourselves, we can’t truly love another. We can’t give away what we don’t have.

The idea of self-love is difficult for many people to accept, because most of our DNA is encoded with the belief that loving yourself is selfish. We’ve been taught this by well-meaning teachers, parents, religions and even society itself.

In fact, if you do a search for synonyms of self-love, you will find words like conceit, egotistical, self-centered, stuck-up, narcissism and vanity.  The prevailing belief is that loving yourself is a selfish act.

It’s no wonder that so many people have a hard time believing it is okay to love themselves. One of the most common beliefs people have is “I’m not good enough.”

Some religions teach that we are born of sin. It’s very difficult to love yourself if you believe you are inherently bad.

As a result of these messages we have received all of our lives, the majority of us have an internal conflict that prevents us from loving ourselves. A part of us knows we need to love ourselves and wants to, and another part of us does not want to love ourselves at all. We are going to resolve that conflict in this session.

Motivational author Louise Hay once said, “After years of individual counseling with clients and conducting hundreds of workshops and intensive training programs across the country and around the world, I found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to know how to love yourself.”

Lack of self-love is an issue with almost all of the people I have worked with who were suffering from various illnesses. It makes sense. If we truly loved ourselves, and nurtured our minds, bodies and souls, we would never become ill.

How to Nurture Self-Love

But how can we love ourselves if, because of our conditioning, we don’t believe we are worthy? We can start by resolving the internal conflict, as we will in this session. We can change underlying beliefs we have about ourselves that prevent us from loving ourselves. When you realize that you have been carrying around beliefs of that nature, you can go back to the belief change module of this program and change the beliefs. We can also forgive ourselves, as we did in Session Six.

I believe that one of the most important things we can do to love ourselves is to remember this truth: You were born in the image and likeness of God, as an expression of God, the divine, or whatever you believe is the source of all that is. You deserve to honor yourself as the sacred vessel of the divine that you are by nurturing your mind, body and spirit.  You may have heard the expression, “You are a spiritual being having a physical experience; it is not the other way around.”

One of the most powerful ways we can love ourselves is by connecting with the divine spiritual essence that we are, through meditation and other spiritual practices. Once you realize and accept your divinity, self love will follow.

I’d like to read you an excerpt from The Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East which expresses this concept very eloquently:

“It is being clearly stated that the life lived by the average individual is hypnotic, that is, the majority of men and women are not living life as it was intended, at all. Not one in a million feels the freedom to live what he inwardly feels he should live. He has come under the world’s opinion of himself, and this opinion is what he obeys, rather than the laws of his own being. In this respect and to this degree, he is living under a hypnotic spell. He lives under the delusion that he is a mere human being living in a material world, and only hopes to escape it when he dies and goes to what he calls heaven.

“This is not a determination intended in the plan and purpose of life. Obedience to one’s inner nature, the expression of life as he instinctively feels it ought to be expressed, is the very foundation of the life which the masters reveal as the only true mode of living.

“The moment you become free from the belief that you are mere human beings, subject to human laws of life and death and the limitations which human beings have imposed, that moment you will see that you are free from all human limitations and may become sons of God, if you will. The moment you realize that you are divine, that you are free from all limitations and possessed of the strength of divinity, and you know that this divinity is the place where being comes most directly in contact with God, man is then beginning to see and know that this divinity is not something to be injected into each other from without;  he is beginning to know that is the very life of each and every person.”

You are divine; that is your essence. You are not this temporary body. You are the invisible divine intelligence within, the same intelligence that created everything in the universe. Once you really know and experience this, self-love is inevitable.

It is so important to be yourself, regardless of what other people may or may not think. Bronnie Ware, author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, worked in palliative care, assisting people at the end of their lives. She found that the number one regret of the dying was, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Living your life, the way you want to live it, is a powerful and profound way to love yourself.

Other ways that I have found to be effective for cultivating self-love include:

Self-Care Create Morning and Evening Rituals. Rather than going straight to your phone or emails, as many people do, take some time in the morning to set up your day with a strong foundation of self-love. Your routine might include meditating (going into the silence to reconnect with the spirit being that you are), reading spiritual literature and exercising. Then, rather than reacting to other people’s agendas, you will feel strong and centered to complete your most important tasks. Your evening ritual might include visualizing what you want to create before sleep so that those images marinate in your subconscious mind as you sleep, journaling, meditating, listening to soft music, writing or any other activity that will nurture and honor you before sleep.

Take Care of Your Body with proper nourishment and exercise. The power of this to change your state of mind and your mood on a daily basis is enormous. I believe that most people underestimate it. In Ayurveda, the Indian system of medicine, it is believed that there is no greater expression of self-love than anointing ourselves from head to toe with warm oil in a practice is called Abyanga. You can do a search to find out more about that if it calls to you.

Take Care of Your Mind by doing the belief change and other work we are doing in this program. Go back and use these powerful processes as other issues come up in your life.

Develop Your Faith  Faith is the opposite of fear. The more faith you have, the less fear you will experience.

In the scriptures, in Matthew, Chapter 17, Jesus says, “…for verily I say unto you if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, move from here to yonder place, and it shall move and nothing shall be impossible unto you.”

Regardless of your faith, there is so much wisdom in the scriptures. I have had many miracles in my life based on sheer faith, including the birth of my daughter.  Develop your faith and I guarantee your life will change and you will experience self-love and more of the miraculous in your life.

Spend Time in Nature –  I once interviewed an Integrative Medical Doctor who said he believes the reason we now have a cancer epidemic is our disconnection from nature. It has been scientifically proven that grounding yourself by walking or sitting with your bare feet on the earth, for example, walking on a beach, for 30 minutes will boost your immune system. This practice, sometimes called “Earthing” has also been scientifically proven to boost the immune system, improve or eliminate the symptoms of many inflammation related disorders, reduce or eliminate chronic pain, improve sleep and promote deeper sleep. Equally importantly, in nature, we realize that everything is in divine order, which gives us a sense of well- being.

Spend Time in Gratitude  – An article published in the Harvard Mental Health Letter states that ” …expressing thanks may be one of the simplest ways to feel better.” It goes on to state, “With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, they usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals, whether to other people, nature or a higher power.”

Dr. P. Murali Doraiswamy, the head of biologic psychology at Duke University Medical Center, once said, “If thankfulness were a drug, it would be the world’s bestselling product with a health maintenance indication for every major organ system.”

I spend time in gratitude as I am running or walking every day. I have recommended this to people who have told me spending 10 minutes a day in gratitude has completely changed their lives.

Create a Joy Journal  – I have found that almost all of the people I work with who are suffering from illness lack joy in their lives. Allowing ourselves to experience joy is an important aspect of self- love. When we don’t have joy in our lives, we burn out and illness can take hold. I recommend creating a Joy Journal. Start writing down all of the things that bring you joy …like watching a funny movie, having lunch with a friend who makes you laugh, going for a hike, browsing in a museum or reading a good book. Keep adding to your journal as other ideas come to you. Look at your Joy Journal every day and see what you can do to bring joy in your life that day…whether it is something that takes 10 minutes, or an entire day, depending on the amount of time you have. Give yourself permission to experience pleasure and watch how your life will become much more enjoyable.

The Inner Peace Process

Our first process today to cultivate self-love is The Inner Peace Process.  Please have some paper and a pen or pencil in front of you for this process. You will be writing down the submodalities of the images you see as we did in the belief change module. Submodalites, as you may recall, are the fine distinctions or the subsets of the Modalities, which are Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Olfactory, Gustatory. The submodalities are part of each representational system that encode and give meaning to our experiences. I will guide you more on this as we get into the process.

Just relax and follow my instructions as we begin The Inner Peace Process.

** At the 11 minute, 50 second mark ( 11:50):

The Inner Peace Process**

The Self-Love Process

Next, you will experience The Self-Love Process. I purposely wanted to do this one last in this session because you will feel really good when we are finished and I want you to be able to carry that peace and calm with you for the rest of the day.

To understand some of the background of The Self-Love Process, it is important to understand how common conflict is.

For example, on one hand, a person may want to be independent, but at the same time on the other hand, the same person can very much want to be dependent. They may not be fully conscious of this conflict, but it is there. If they spend a little time exploring, they’ll discover it.

We are about to integrate your desire to be both dependent and independent. Once we resolve this conflict, you will be able to fully experience the self-love that you deserve.

It’s important to understand that every part of you has positive and beneficial intentions. Every part that is within you exists to produce something good. We will work together now to uncover and become clear and conscious of the beneficial positive intentions of both parts of yourself that have been in conflict.

We also want to integrate these two parts and resolve the issue.

Relax now, with your feet flat on the flat on the floor, your eyes closed and your hands free, as we begin The Self-Love Process.

** At the 24 minute, 54 second mark (24:54):

The Self-Love Process**

You are the one companion you are guaranteed to travel this life with. In loving yourself, the journey will be much healthier, richer and more rewarding.


Before I leave you in this blissful state, I want to mention that next week, in your Bonus Session, you will experience powerful tools that will help you create the health and the future you want, and see and feel yourself as already healed, living in the bright future you imagine. I look forward to joining you then.

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